Why this time?

What is so different about this journey compared to the others I've taken?

So much and yet so little.

Just like all my other weight loss efforts I started off strong. I was going to lose weight, feel great, and look great. I did well for a month or so, lost a few pounds, got some new clothes, but then BAM! Something derailed me and I quit. Does this sound all too familiar to you?

So what is different this time? My reasons for losing the weight and getting healthy are different. It's a no-brainer that you and I want to lose weight to be thin and look great. But just as a no-brainer lacks substance so does that reason for your motivation. It's plain and simply not enough to get you through the ups and downs of weight loss. PERIOD.

As I was showering tonight (yes this is another shower musing) I started thinking about all MY whys' for this journey. Why did I feel different. Why was I so confident that I shared my journey with the world? I needed to know for myself why this became so important to me. So here we go.

I want to feel good. I have had several scares in the past few months that have made me realize that i'm not invincible. Disease doesn't care how old you are, how many children you have, or whether you are a good person. It only cares about what you put in your body. I have been feeding these diseases with sugar, fat, processed food, basically crap. All the things it loves and needs to develop. I recently watched a few documentaries that scared the crap out of me. Do I really want heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, arthritis, cancer, inflammatory diseases, etc? Is that doughnut (or 6) really worth that? NO! I have all these diseases in my immediate family and here I was destroying my body knowing full well that I already had one strike against me.

I want to be a good example for Lilly. I want to show her how to live not just tell her. I have been feeding her very nutritiously for her entire life. It wasn't that I didn't know how to do it. As she has gotten older though she looks at her food and looks at my french fries and tells me she wants what i'm having. She wants to be just like mommy. Right now, that is a scary thought. I don't want her to be like me. I want her to be like the woman that I want to and will become. I want to play with her, explore with her, teach her, love her, and be there for her. I can't do that sitting on the sidelines. I don't want to be the mom that you see in the corner. Hiding from people because she's fat. Wishing that she could join her family and friends in the fun. I don't want Lilly to ever be held back because of me. I want to be out there with her cheering her on, participating, and making her proud.

I want to be a fun, attractive, energetic wife to Steve. I want to care for him and be the wife he deserves and needs. I want to explore the world with him. I want to see a sunrise and sunset from the middle of nowhere with him. I want to hike, swim, bike, run, and just be with him. I want him to be proud of me. Proud to come home to a wife who is invested in their future together. Being unhealthy is like telling him I don't care to grow old with you. I care more about feeding my selfishness than celebrating our golden anniversary. I want to be an old couple that travels together, plays with their grandchildren, is living life to the fullest until our last breath or our Lord calls us home.

I want to help people. I can't go build a house in Haiti, dig a well in Africa, feed the orphans in Mexico if i'm 200+lbs. I want to give to those what God has so richly blessed me with. How can I expect to give when I am taking? I have the desire and am feeling a calling to help others and I will NOT let obesity stand in the way.

I want to inspire others. I want to show them that they can enjoy life while losing and maintaining weight. I want to show them that those few bad days is NOTHING compared to a life filled with pain, shame, regret, depression, selfishness, and fear. There is nothing to fear. If you eat well and exercise you will lose weight. You will feel better. You will be able to attain your goals. I can't wait to show people that they can do the very same thing i'm doing. You can still eat some of your favorite foods. Healthify them! Yes, there will be things you won't be able to have ever again. Are those things worth the beautiful life you will be missing out on? Heck no!

You can do this. I know you can. You just have to figure out why it's important to you. When  you do, you will be unstoppable. That scale will not define you, those negative people will not affect you, those fattening foods will not tempt you, those exercises will not scare you, and your weight will not hold you back. You ARE strong and capable. I believe in you and I believe in me. If you need support i'm right here to walk beside you. So, one question?

Are you ready?