Something has gotta give

I honestly don't know what my problem is. I really don't understand why I eat things that are bad for me, don't exercise, and then gain back weight that was so hard to lose. I get so inspired when I watch TBL, read great articles, see others that have lost the same amount of weight as me or more, etc. but I just can't keep it going. I can give myself excuse after excuse to not do it just as much as I can give myself reasons to do it right. I'm really tired of writing these blog posts as i'm sure others are just as tired reading them. I'm up for any suggestions. Perhaps a lobotomy?

I feel better

I dragged out the treadmill and ran after reading a Jillian article about negative thoughts. Instead of turning this all into a negative I decided to think and act positively for the rest of this evening. I am proud of myself for showing some control this afternoon. I'm proud of myself for eating healthy for breakfast and dinner. I'm really proud of myself for running a mile this evening at a fast pace. I finished it in 13:38 minutes. I'm proud of myself most of all for pushing past the negativity, changing my attitude, and going to sleep on a positive note.

Peer Pressure

Peer pressure bit me in the arse today. I brought my lunch today like a good girl. I ate my breakfast and was fully intending to eat my lunch. Then my coworker brought us out leftovers. From The Cheesecake Factory. It was my favorite dish. I ate the damn thing. It doesn't end there. She also brought my favorite dessert. I ate it. Well....not a ton at all. Way, way, waaaaay better than normal but i'm still so grumpy with myself. Why did I give in? Why didn't I just say no. What....the...hell...is....wrong....with....me?

I'm sure my weight will be up because my body hates to metabolize anything more caloric than a carrot. Ugh!

Cupcakes

I fancy myself a darn good baker. I make some pretty killer cupcakes. I haven't been asked in awhile to make any so I haven't really had any baked goods in the house. Well as luck would have it I was just asked to make some and right at the beginning of my goal diet. The house smells of homemade caramel sauce and it's so heavenly. I will be good though and not eat any of the cupcakes or icing. Except the teeeeeeny tiny bit that I have to taste of the icing to make sure it's well mixed. Oh that God saw it fit to give me a fabulous metabolism.....

I had a great day though. Good eating, went out with a friend I haven't seen in a while, got some chores done, and caught up on a few shows. I'm hoping to see that scale continue it's decent. I'm super excited that i'm already in the 180s. I was NOT expecting that. I can see that my no eating past 8pm is working well. I was doing terrible at that. I would eat something in bed while reading. NO GOOD! Alright, gotta get ready to hit the hay. Got a long and early day tomorrow.

New goal

I have 52 days to reach it. Why you ask? A friend of mine that I have known my whole life is getting married May 14th. Since I have known her my whole life that means that we grew up together. That also means that she will be inviting other people that I grew up with. That means that they will see me in all my chunky glory that day. Yes I know that they will be waaaaaaay more focused on her and how gorgeous she will be but I know they will also be surprised at how much weight I have gained in the 10 years since we have graduated high school. I know that I can't lose a ton of weight. I should however be able to make a nice little dent in my goal. So, my goal is to lose 2lbs a week. That should bring me to a total loss of 14lbs. Hopefully that means that I will be around 175lbs. Ok Nicole......nag me like you have never nagged before. I want total accountability for the next 52 days. It also coincides nicely with the mini. :)

Feeling good

I'm feeling much better after weighing in today. I weighed myself several times just to make sure it was correct. I didn't exercise last night either. I really need to get on that. I'll try to do it today while Lilly is napping. I haven't even watched TBL!!! This week has been really busy for me for some reason. I keep finding things to do. I really want to get in play time with Lilly while it's nice out. It's supposed to snow later this week. YUCK! I think that the baby steps are working for me. I feel like i'm accomplishing a lot but i'm not feeling too restricted which keeps my rebellious two year old self at bay. I think it's officially 45 days till the mini. I WILL RUN TODAY!!!!!!

Face slap

So, I decided to go to the zoo today to get out of the house and get in a little walking. I asked my mom and dad to go with us and off we went for what I thought was going to be a nice healthy activity. My parents got hungry while we were there so we went and grabbed something to eat. I got a pepperoni pizza from Noble Roman's not even thinking of the ramifications. Well....I came home and just put it in my WW tracker and it is 20 points. HOLY CRAP! 20 freaking points for that piece of crap pizza. I didn't eat all of it but still! That is insane! Ugh, instant face palm.

Eh

Well...I didn't do too bad or too good yesterday. Baby steps though....My weight is up a smidge but I don't think that it's because of yesterday. We are having so many issues with the house we're renting. I'm so ready to move it's not even funny. I couldn't get on the treadmill yesterday because it was literally raining in the room it's in. It's supposed to be worked on today but we'll see. I was going to go outside for a run yesterday but we got busy as usual. Today i'm going to make it work somehow. I think I may need to sign up for a gym a little closer to home that is open 24hrs. All in all i'm fine with yesterday. I'm not going to be negative or beat myself up.

Where did the time go?

Well I have 6 weeks until the mini. 6 WEEKS! Holy cow batman. I don't know where the time has gone. It just seems to fly by. I've been doing horrible with my food and exercise as my weight proves. I need to hop on the exercise train or i'm going to crawl the mini. I've started the day off right and i'm taking it one baby step at a time. 47 more days!

Plank mastery

Ok, so I haven't mastered them yet but I did the whole plank circuit today with Jaime. When I started training with her a few weeks ago I couldn't get through the first part of it. I literally collapsed just trying to hold myself up. I'm amazed at the ability my body has to adapt to whatever i'm doing. God is so amazing. It's almost like He knew what he was doing when He made us. ;) My next goal for these pesky planks is to stack my feet to make it harder. Jaime showed me the progression after that and i'm a little afraid i'm going to break my face. You hold up your leg in the air while on one arm. CRAZY. I'm not one to walk away from a challenge so look for my post about that. I'm sure it will be funny. I signed up for weight watchers (it will now be known as WW) to try for some more accountability, recipes, and portion control. Even if it only helps for a few months i'm ok with that. I just need to get this engine going. I'm doing great with workouts so now I need to jump in with both feet with my "diet".

4 miles. Holla!!

The Biggest Loser (or TBL as it shall now be known) is such a source of inspiration to me. I think I cried 47 times during this last episode. You root so hard for them because you know EXACTLY how it feels to be them. When they fail you feel the pain right along with them. When they excel you feel their joy. Arthur, who is the biggest guy there at 400lbs, did a 5k in an hour. THAT IS MAD CRAZY!!!! That made me feel guilt and inspiration all at the same time. I'm using too many excuses to not push myself further. So, with that inspiration in mind I headed to the treadmill. I did 1.5 miles running and .5 miles walking then Steve came home so I headed outside and walked another 1 mile and then finished it up with a 1 mile run. In total I did 4 miles. I felt soooooo good after it. I could have went further. I think that I could have ran the whole thing had I not developed a stitch in my side. This is so huge for me. When I began a change for the better I could not WALK a mile. I have jumped leaps and bounds from where I was. I need to focus on that instead of looking at how much further I have. Everything worth having takes time, dedication, and a willingness to fail but pick yourself up again. I have officially picked myself up, patted myself on the back, and drop kicked the negativity.

21 day challenge

I signed up for a 21 day challenge to get my butt in gear. My trainer recommended it to me and i'm excited about it. Today is day 1 which I wasn't expecting (I thought it was on Wednesday or Thursday) but I was fortunate that I started it off well and had a training session today. http://www.facebook.com/JulieVorisInspireFitness?sk=app_11007063052 Here is what all we're doing. It's only for 21 days so i'm going to kick it in gear. I need to get this weight off. I'm feeling better and getting stronger. I can definitely tell so i'm not unhappy with my exercise. It all comes down to food. I'm just eating what is quick and right in front of me. I need to get back to planning my meals. I'm not out eating cupcakes and fried chicken or anything but i'm eating enough "bad" to prevent any weight loss. I'm sorting it out and i'm taking it one day at a time. :)