Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Nothing in this world worth having comes easy

Boy ain't that the truth!

I have been doing a great job this year. I'm so proud of myself for saying that. I'm super hard on myself so giving myself positive reinforcement is a step in the right direction as well. I am so amazed at how much I have changed in such a short time span. It's nothing short of amazing to me.

However, this hasn't been the easiest journey. Some days are easy breezy and other days feel like a constant battle from sunup to sundown. While giving up is not an option for me this time there are days when it feels like the easier option. That's when I have to remember that quote. Marriage isn't easy but it's worth it. Parenting isn't easy but it's worth it. Financial responsibility isn't easy but it's worth it. So why would being healthy and fit be any different?

This past week was a major struggle for me. I felt like I was living in a black cloud of misery and despair. I have not felt that way in a very long time. It was downright scary. My drive just vanished. I didn't want to cook, clean, exercise, or participate in life. I felt completely blindsided by it. What in the world was going on? I recognized the cloud for what it was and reached out for support. That is HUGE people. I never do that. It's hard to admit to others that you need them. Well at least it is for me. My wonderful husband helped me with the housework, taking care of Lilly, and finding stuff to eat. My awesome journey buddy Nicole invited me to Zumba and talked to me endlessly on facebook. Some of my followers on my page rallied around me and provided me with support, encouragement, and laughter. All of those things added together helped to pull me out of the worst of it. That is when Steve decided to do a little research. Bless him, he's always trying to figure out a cause so that we can fix it. There is no unknown for him. <3 Thank goodness he did because what he found made perfect sense.

When I started this journey I was eating meat. I chose lean meat and tried to cut back on the amount I was eating every week. The less meat I ate the more difficult it became. It kept making me sick. The last time I tried I couldn't even choke it down. That is when I decided to just stop the charade and become a vegetarian. Things have been going swimmingly until last week. Steve, in his infinite wisdom, decided to look up vitamin and mineral deficiencies to see if that was my issue. I had every single symptom of an iron and B12 deficiency. My mood issues, my hair loss, my lack of energy, my longer menstrual cycle, and my under eye circles. So, i'm now on vitamins and looking at my diet to see how I can clean it up even more.

My whole point to this post is that you can't quit. You can't give up. You can't stop fighting. EVER! Even if you get to your end goal if you haven't learned this lesson you will go right back to where you were and maybe more. It's a vicious cycle that you and I have to break. If you gained a few pounds during your bad week so what? What is 2 pounds compared to the previous 30 that you lost? Suck it up and get back on track. That way you lose those 2 pounds and another 10! There is never a reason to throw in the towel. If you eat a bad lunch who cares? Don't throw away the rest of your day because of it! Get in a good workout, lots of water, and a great dinner. Every day is filled with thousands of choices. That means that you have thousands of opportunities to turn your day around and make it a positive. Get out of the mindset that tells you "well, I screwed up already so I might as well go whole hog and get something fattening for dinner and dessert". All that will do is make you fell terrible mentally and physically. It will only take you further from your goals. Further from the person you dream about being.

I've said this so many times but it's just so important and true. Losing weight is about cleaning up your mental health even more than your physical health. Overcoming those bad choices, those painful memories, those bad habits is so important to success. I am finding that out every single day. If you are struggling with this change look inward. Figure out why it's such a struggle and then start fixing that problem. I know that by the end of this I will by no means be "cured" but I know that I will no longer be a broken, lost, miserable woman.

If you are struggling let me know. I would love to be there to support you. It's so much easier when you don't have to go it alone. Stay strong my chickadees!

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